The Parts of Me That No One Sees

There are parts of me that don’t desire to be ‘figured out’ or ‘fixed’, instead they just desire to be quietly witnessed.

Today, I was sitting down doing a practice from a course I am currently taking. During the practice, I started crying and crying. Naturally, as we do, I started to notice my mind wandering… ‘Why am I crying? Why am I sad? What am I sad for? Am I sad because of this reason? This reason? Why?’, as these questions arose, after briefly trying to figure it all out, I suddenly allowed myself to slowly let them go.

It’s normal for our logical mind to want to know the answers. It’s how we are wired for survival. But I hate it. I truely loath trying to figure it out. I hate, hate, hate all the personal growth and self development work that tries to make me logic and figure out why I feel x, y or z. I hate it. I can’t express just how much I hate it. It always felt icky to me. Trying to outsmart my subconscious, trying to ‘make things conscious’ by analysing thoughts, trying to logically make sense of the way my subconscious is working, make sense of my feelings, make sense of why I have certain thoughts, make sense of my beliefs, my actions etc… always trying to ‘find out’ and uncover them. Trying to figure out why I feel a certain way, and always in order to ‘fix’ things.

All of this is precisely why I fell so deeply in love with The Body Code work. For the first time, this system didn’t try to make sense of the subconscious. It didn’t try to make me logic what was never meant to be logical in the first place. It didn’t make me try to ‘figure out’ my feelings, or try to come up with some logical way as to why I feel something, and give me a big hit of dopamine when I finally had a big ‘breakthrough’ as to why I felt stuck in a certain way, yet nothing changed even after I brought this supposed truth into conscious being. Instead, it quietly allowed me to not worry about any of that. To not try to consciously force my way to answers that my subconscious holds the keys to.

It finally allowed me to heal in a way that didn’t feel icky, or that felt like I was trying to force my subconscious into submission.

After this practice, I went about my day and later had a small epiphany. Maybe I was crying simply for all these parts of me. The ones that I don’t acknowledge, The ones that still feel abandoned by the outside voices tell me that in order for things to be valid, they need to be logical, they need to be able to be explained and figured out to be worthy of something.

There is so much unseen power in the unseen. In the things that can’t be explained. That can’t be ‘figured out’.

There is so much beauty in not trying to figure it out. In not trying to strive and to fix.

And that is why I feel so deeply about this work, because it isn’t trying to fix. It isn’t loudly trying to figure out the most logical reason why I’m experiencing this issue. It doesn’t need to justify itself. It simply listens to the subconscious, allows it to show me what is truly causing an issue, and gently, silently release it. There’s no forcing, no pushing, no chasing random stories just to appease the logical mind.

This is one of the biggest reasons why I only offer email sessions, because both my clients and I see the beauty in not trying to ‘figure out’ the unseen.

There is such simplicity in this work, and that simplicity is, in my eyes, absolutely, perfectly, beautiful.

To allow such deep and powerful healing to take place without the need to logically figure it all out.

What a refreshing concept.

Don’t we already have enough on our plates to ‘figure out’ every day? The endless to do lists, the every day issues, the solutions needed at work and at home, so why make healing another one of these chores on our never-ending to do lists?

There is just so much beauty in allowing the subconscious to remain mostly a mystery, and instead of forcing or trying to figure it out, instead allow the subconscious mind to guide you seamlessly to what is keeping you from stepping more deeply into your true self.

Because that is simply it. This work isn’t about fixing yourself, it’s about gently and effortlessly shedding the layers that made you forget who you truly were, before the world told you weren’t worthy for just being you.

It’s about coming home to your soul, without striving or trying to mould yourself into what the world tells you you need to be.

And these parts of you that long to be healed, that cry out for attention, sometimes they don’t need to be ‘figured out’, instead, they just need to be gently witnessed in order to be let go of.